I feel like the place I’m at right now is destroying my soul. I just want to leave home, throw away my phone, delete all my internet accounts, drop out of school, grab your hand and go on an adventure.
I feel like, if I find somoeone I like, I’m never good enough for them. Not pretty enough, not thin enough, not funny enough, not clever enough. Just not enough. When I look into the mirror, I see an enemy. I am disgusted. I feel ugly, I feel so sad. They always pick the sociable outgoing girl with a nice body, pretty face and long hair. I have a problem, a huge problem to trust someone. Whenever I do, they get bored of me in the end, call me tiring and that’s where it ends. I can’t believe someone would actually mean it, that I’m pretty, that I come first, that I’m special. I’m never special. I never come first. You always find someone better than me who can take my place. You use me until you don’t find any better. That’s how I feel, constatly. Used and thrown away when you realize there is nothing amazing about me. Just please don’t call me your sweetheart, when a week later, I’ll be the bitch you hate. And it’s always the same circle of someone being impressed and after a short period of time, abandoning me with the words “you’re just not **** enough, you’re tiring”. I have no deep words or thoughts. All I can do is get comitted. I can get so comitted to a person that I love they are scared it’s unhealthy and obsessive. But I just really don’t know a better way, I’m scared they’ll abandon me again, so I try, I try all the time to comfort them and guard them and keep them forever by my side. It’s not helping me, they see me as a fucking annoying clingy weakling. I’m just not enough. My best is not enough.
I’m so stressed and tired. I am doing what I can but I still suck at everything and I feel I could do much better but I just can’t because I’m too tired and I don’t even know what my priorities are anymore. I don’t need anyone who would guide me, just someone who cares about me and gives me the feeling that doing my best has a meaning or my meaningless life can get a meaning. I’m not lovely nor am I smart, not even ordinary, I just laugh and then get home and don’t know how to feel and I’m just so tired of myself. I sit on the bed thinking about how much I hate school, how much my family issues suck, how much my relationship sucks, how much my friendships suck and how much I hate myself. I’m too tired to survive this alone, I swear.
it pains me when you’re losing me and i can see you don’t even mind
while i’m left all alone and feel like a burden to the whole world.
it’s a trap.
never be the one that loves more.
you’ll end up being the one in pain, because everything is so fucking unfair.
i hate relationships with people because everyone is so fucked up.
i’m an easy target, right.
to these fucked up people that use you the moment they know you trust them.
the moment you tell someone you love them, you lost.
i’m easy because i’m an emotional mess.
but yes, now i’m losing you and you’re losing me and i’m the one in pain, scared to end up alone, not realising i’m alone the whole time.
i’m scared i’ll die from this emptiness and solitude.
i can never be alone, please, before you make me love you, make sure you’ll keep your word and stand by me.
you should’ve left before you turned me into this.
a shattered weakling.
you won’t put the pieces back together, will you?
i know you won’t.
i’m not worth fighting for and holding onto.
you made me this way.
but, you really used to be cheerful, whats wrong? D:
why do you think i’m not? but being cheerful is not my personality, my mood changes and that’s just natural. and i’m so lonely these days that i really can’t be cheerful.
Girl you should listen to me when I tell you stop your relationship, I know from your guy you will break up and he told me long time ago that your relationship is shit
that’s nice, but i’d rather believe him than an anon on tumblr i guess. mind your own fucking business please and quit trying to upset me, ‘cause it’s not going to work :) thanks.
Asked by Anonymous
Good goyim. Blanda up with asians and never have a white child